Reflections on 2020

 

Looking back at the year, a lot can be said. Much of it has already been said and in my opinion said far too many times. Almost to the point where it has lost all of its meaning. So, I will skip the “sage” advice like “We’re all in this together”.

Here are the lessons that I have learned or was reminded of in 2020.

Focus on the long-game

In today’s world of instant gratification, it can be easy to think that you always need to be achieving success. That you need to update your status or create a post telling the world about how great you are or your latest success, but this is not reality.

Often times the gains of the short-game and the gains of the long-game are at odds with one another and it feels so much better to go for the short game because you do not get the felling of not being good enough. However, it all comes back to haunt you and it haunts you so much longer than the short-term pains.

We try to pack so much into one day and we feel so unaccomplished when we fall short, so we give up and do not try the next day. The big secret that so many people do not talk about is the fact that small acts add up. Focusing on small consistent progress will get you so much further ahead than inconsistent giant steps.

Go Do Shit

One of my best attributes (I have been told) and one of my biggest weaknesses is the fact that I want action. I do not want to talk about shit, I want to go and do shit. I do not want to talk about all of the injustice in the world, how bad the world is and how we are failing as a nation. I want to go and solve the problems of the world.

I am frustrated when I hear people sit back and talk about what everyone else is doing wrong. How money should be spent and what other people should be doing. Life is not a spectating sport; it is an active sport. I get it, I probably sound like some of them right now but here is the difference, I will tell you what you can do if you want to.

1.       Go and find a cause to volunteer for.

2.       Start having conversations with people you disagree with so you can understand where they are coming from.

3.       Don’t be an asshat (seriously this is a big one)

4.       Donate to a cause you believe in.

5.       Inform yourself about everything is going on in the world and what you can do about it.

I have also learned this year that very rarely if ever is it that the people complaining and telling everyone else what to do are the same people actually out doing the work. Sadly, we have become a world that sits back and barks our orders, points out the flaws and talks about how horrible the world is while we do nothing about it. It is easy to point out what is wrong. It makes us feel so much better because we know what is wrong and we can identify the problem, hell we can even identify the solution but what we all know but do not recognize is making the solution work is the tricky part. It is the messy part that never goes according to plan. It is the part where we have people telling us constantly everything we are doing wrong, where we are falling short and what we should be doing from people on the sidelines.

You need to decide what side of history do you want to be on. Do you want to be on the side that acts like a crazed Vikings fan yelling at the television about all the wrong plays and what the refs are doing wrong, or do you want to be on the field playing?

The best teams are not defined by walls

This past year has been incredible. I have been lucky enough to work to be a part of two amazing teams. The crazy thing is that we have never been in the same room together and we all work for different organizations across the country.

Teams are not defined by a location, business, or department. They are defined by a common mission and vision. They are defined by people that are willing to achieve that mission and vision by letting go of their ego.

Remind yourself daily of what you want

I used to have this really great habit of creating a vision board at the start of every year or writing down what I wanted in a notebook and then forgetting about it for the rest of the year, until every few months I would look at it and remind myself of how much I have not accomplished.

Your goals, dreams and desires are not a Ron Ronco Rotisserie Oven , you do not just set it and forget it. You need to be actively involved and as silly as it sounds reminding yourself daily of what you want is going to get you there a lot faster.

You need have your own definition of success

A lot of people out there are going to tell you how to live your life and I guess I am one of them right now. Okay maybe tell you is the wrong term to use and a better one is suggesting to you what you need to do.

Clayton Christensen does a far better job at explaining this than I ever could. You should read his article here: https://hbr.org/2010/07/how-will-you-measure-your-life

Get used to being uncomfortable

The good news, everyone you know has felt uncomfortable, like they do not belong and unworthy at some point in their life. The bad news it never goes away.

Don’t like being uncomfortable, well no one really does that is why it is called being uncomfortable.

Everything great that you want in your life requires you to be uncomfortable. Stop avoiding it. Embrace it. Yes, it sucks but what sucks more is realizing everything you avoided at the end of your life just because it was not comfortable.

Own your life

No one is coming to save you. No one is coming to make your dreams come true. Yes, it sounds harsh to say but what is far harsher is living a life where you are always waiting on someone to come in. Your life is not a fairytale, shit does not just happen you need to make it happen.

It is hard because so often we feel unworthy. We feel that we are not qualified enough to make our dreams come true. That we cannot overcome what is in front of us. That we need someone else to do it for us because we could never do it ourselves. FUCK THAT NOISE.

You are capable, you can make it happen and you do not need anyone to make it happen for you. You need to believe in yourself and you need to believe you can do what you want. It will be messy; it will be painful, and it will take time, but it is worth it. In case you have never heard it before, I believe in you. I believe that you can accomplish whatever you want in your life.

Face reality

It does not sound as bad as it is because in reality, reality is both a good thing and a bad thing.

You need to understand what you are doing wrong and where you need to improve. You need to admit the truth in order to get past it and become better but here is the thing.

The reality is that everyone, even the people you admire the most have struggled. They have made mistakes. They have had to invest time, energy and sometimes money to get where they are today. No one just landed there.

In reality it takes a lot longer to accomplish your dreams, goals and achieve major success. Which may sound bad when you first read it but when you realize how much freedom it gives you, and that you have time. That you are not competing against a clock with sixty seconds left, it sets you free.

Embrace the suck

In life we have two choices we can embrace the hill in front of us or we can take what we think is the flat road. What we don’t realize is that the road we think is so flat is actually a steady climb, but it is just at the right angle where we feel the pain but never see the incline, so we wonder why we are suffering.

In life we can embrace the suck, the big hill, the hard things, the uncomfortable things, the painful things, or we can take the easy way, or as I call it the false flat,

When we embrace the hill, we know we are suffering, we know we are fighting but we can see the top. We can see the progress we are making, and we know why we are struggling. In the false flat we never understand it. It is spending your entire life wondering what more you could have done.

FUCK FOMO

Stop listening to the advertisements playing to your emotion and the fact that you need to do everything and that you cannot miss everything. You are not going to do everything, and you are going to miss something because you are human. Just focus on what you really want.

It’s the small things

I won’t lie, I have a lot of big dreams on my vision board and I want to achieve a lot in my life but what I have learned is that the small things are the things that really matter. It is the dinners with family and friends, it is the zoom calls, it is those random nights where you spend with your friends. It is every day. Stop waiting for the next holiday, anniversary, or milestone. Life is happening now.