November 1, 2023

 Here I am. I am currently overweight and not achieving the goals I set out in January of this year. I am tired of feeling this way. I constantly feel like I am just getting by and not actually thriving. I hate the feeling and i have tried before to do something about it but nothing actually changes.

My goal is to help share the journey that I am on and help others who may be in the same boat as me. It is not so much about the weight but it is the feeling that I am wasting my life on shit that does not matter. That I am spending my time on stupid shit that never will actually mean anything to me.

One of the battles that I am facing is the ability to let shit go and yet learn from it at the same time. What i mean by that is I do not want to have all of my past failures continue to hold me back because that does nothing for anyone. It just destroys me. However I want to continue to learn about what went wrong and how I can avoid those mistakes in the future.

Another battle that I am fighting is the need to be perfect in everything that I am doing because it is just not realistic. I do not need to be perfect but I need to be consistent and persistent. That is how I will achieve real success.

What do I want my life to be about?

I want to my life to be about helping people. I do not see the reason that I should just have a focus on myself. It is pointless to do this.

I want my life to be about doing cool shit. A very helpful description I know but what I mean is that I do not want to just do ordinary shit because it is there. I am fine doing boring tasks if it helps me get to where I want to go or helps others get to where I want to go. It is not always about all of the fun shit that happens.